World War 2: If Nations Were Whacky Individuals
Personification is a literary device that represents an abstract quality. It is the attribution of human characteristics to non-humans, either living creatures or inanimate objects.
Using it for a comic effect sometimes imbues reality with a new vigor. It’s a hard-hitting form of assailing political correctness in the times of relentless victim complex and identity crisis marathons.
World War 2 was complex and catastrophic, with the Allies and Axis arrayed against each other – and a lot of other nations who were just plunged headlong. Eventually, the war and what ensued, became a defining theme of many countries.
A few weeks back, I stumbled across an ingeniously witty thread on Reddit –the type that blends good old satire with geopolitics – and was pleasantly impressed with the undercurrent of the thought at work.
Immediately, I thought to offer a continuum to the thread whose hilarious theme was 'If Nazi Germany was Fatherland and USSR the Motherland, then World War Second was just a complex divorce’.
I do realize that in fixing the jamborees termed Indian marriages there are quite a few 'invisible hands' at work and while ' all happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."
Let’s look at the dramatis personae divided between Allies and the Axis in the World War 2 ( not your hackneyed Montague vs Capulet, irrespective of' family comes first’)
Croatia: Ruffian pal of the father whom the family detests. Father tries to rein him often, but to little avail.
Spain: 'Log Kya Kahenge' relative who tries to be neutral and explicitly aligned towards none. But in his heart, he knows the father is right. For he won’t allow his womenfolk to open bank accounts until 1970.
Portugal: A young dude in the neighborhood who is inspired by the father, but maintains some restraint for longevity ( Lusicotropicalism ya see!) He is a mellowed down regular pin-up poster dude kinda face. Upholder of traditions and syndicalism. Licenses cigarette lighters so that flappers are in limits.
Ukraine : The member from mothers family who is torn between filial ties and the charisma of the rich and influential dad.
Norway : Quisling! Attended the wedding of inconvenience to safeguard the future of children. But gradually drifted loyalties to the dad.
Turkey: Established huckster who knows the 'balance of power’. Vacillates between Secularism and Islam. Realizes that the past is too much with it.
Outstripped Arabs and Mongols in the days of the yore. Now a 'Sickman of Europe' redux who is more desperate for being European than a spurned lover is for his flame.
Finland: Underpaid apprentice in mothers office who faces a dilemma. Equally dislikes the harridan mother and the ill-tempered, authoritarian father, but knows the children and their caretakers wouldn’t be there in time of need. So makes concessions to the mothers side.
Tries everything to be in their good books, including buying more stuff than needed from her weekend garage sale.
India: Melancholic, emaciated chaperon who has to work overtime and is grossly underpaid. Also has to bear the weight of the war machinery for the Raj. Nursing hopes of 'Someday gonna be Saturday Night’.
China: Apna Time Aayega. Ek din sabka badla lega tera Faizal. (Just a matter of time till the dragon awakens from the slumber).
Albania: That distant relative who tried to stitch a bunch of rowdies together. Strained all ties with the Motherland under Hoxha. Now up to mischief in the neighborhood. Posh guys are naturally scared of him.
Serbia: The only marginally decent son of the same aunt who was handed a raw deal, ostracized, and is now undergoing therapy from his aunt – the motherland.
Canada: Holiday home for special children where they planned to scamper around until all divorce proceedings are over and nagging neighbours do not disturb.
Paraguay, Brazil, Argentina : Sprawling farmhouses cum safehouses where the father invested for adverse times. Alas! They only helped his associates.
Singapore: A former desolate colonial outpost and entrepot earnestly believing in 'We Gonna Make a World of our Own. I will Tell You Things That No one else Knows’.
Mexico : The good Samaritan next door who punches above his weight in time of crisis.
Iran: Overdosed on modernization and crystal meth of identity supremacy in Aryan race supplied by the father.
In 1935, rechristens from Persia to Iran( Land of Aryans) to keep the fickle father happy and show him how much people revere him.
Pakistan: Newly born baby.. Britain got the responsibility to rock the cradle.
Afghanistan: Nonchalant. Over-absorbed in themselves. 'Fight Coz you don’t know what’s next, fight coz what else to do’.
Burma: That surrogate child who enjoyed equal attention in the extended family of the Raj. But then, one fine day, was told to fend off on his own.
Saudi Arabia: 'Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop Thinking About You’( to the American oil companies)
Belgium: Congo Free State and Leopold’s soliloquy is past. Let me be the one to initiate a new union and teach you all what’s unalloyed liberalism and humanism.